FearFree Childbirth

• For the majority of women of childbearing age who have not given birth, the idea of a fear free childbirth is unheard of …isn’t childbirth pretty scary? It’s even scary to those that HAVE given birth, especially if things didn’t go too well.

• And yet this fear is misplaced, and stems from a cocktail of misinformation, drama-filled TV shows and movies, horror stories and fear of the unknown. Sadly, in some countries where the standard of healthcare is pretty shoddy, childbirth is still responsible for fatalities in women, however, for the woman who chooses to give birth in a developed country, the risks are very low.

• In the UK, the risks are falling and it now stands at 8 for every 100,000 births (source RCOG National Enquiry). Why a opt for a fear free childbirth? For both men and women, the birth of their children is one of life’s magical moments.

• It’s an experience that will stay with you both of you forever, so wouldn’t it be nice to approach such an experience with open hearts, rather than full of fear? That on its own is a pretty compelling reason. But, there’s more… and for the women, it’s even more compelling.

• Fear directly impacts the level of pain that you will experience during childbirth. The more fear and anxiety, the more pain. The more pain you experience, the more likely you will make choices that can contribute to a problematic birth, and possibly traumatic birth.

• Traumatic births are known to be contributing factor to post natal depression. All this is backed by research and evidence so it’s nothing new. So, if you take time to reduce your fears and anxieties BEFORE the birth, then you’re improving your chances of a positive and pain-free birth experience.

• At the very least you will have a fear free childbirth. The way I see it, there are 2 broad categories of fear that we come across when it comes to childbirth and labour;

1. Fear of the unknown Fear of the unknown, or as I prefer to refer to it; fear arising from being misinformed. If this is first time pregnancy for you, then it completely makes sense that you will experience this fear to some degree, maybe even by the bucket load.

• I know I did during the early part of my first pregnancy. But, a lot of this fear comes from not really being well-informed on matters of childbirth to be able to ascertain with confidence as to whether your fears are well-grounded. In fact, it’s likely that your fears are fed by a cocktail of seeing births on TV or in the movies, hearing your friends’ horror stories or seeing horrific birthing videos when you were at school.

• I’m sure they have ulterior motives when we are that age, so it’s understandable that they show us a nasty version. It certainly worked as a pretty good contraception for me. But how much do you REALLY know about child birth? Have you taken the time to research childbirth in any great detail to understand what’s really going on? It’s likely, that if you are fearful of it that you haven’t.

• Once we have a better understanding of the labour and childbirth process, a lot of this fear evaporates. If after getting your head around childbirth, you’re still fearful, then what you have left is the second type of fear;

2. Deep emotional fear This fear resides deep within your subconscious and it arises from previous experiences (including those you’ve consciously forgotten), your values and your beliefs.

• This kind of fear is not the type that goes away just by thinking positively or studying harder because the rational mind is not able to change things that lie ingrained in our subconscious. I say ingrained, because these things are.

• Your beliefs are rock solid. If you have the belief that childbirth is not natural, and the female body is obviously not designed to have a baby’s head, or indeed its body come out of it naturally then being presented with solid evidence to suggest otherwise, is not going to change your mind.

• Just as you may be have the belief that you are not good enough, or you always fail, even though you hear people tell you how amazing you are, and see evidence that you are perfectly capable of succeeding at things, these beliefs will dictate your thinking and your resulting behaviour.

• Fears at this level will trigger the stress response in the body, whether you like it or not. You might read into childbirth until you’ve devoured every book imaginable, but if when you think of [insert any aspect of childbirth here that you like] you still can’t help but feel aheavy sick feeling in the pit of your stomach then you have some more work to do.

• This feeling in your body is hardwired, at least for the time being. That doesn’t mean that it can’t be changed, but changing it requires a very different approach to simply being better informed.

• The thing is, fears that are affecting your body like this, will be having a magnified effect on you when you’re in childbirth, not helped if you’re also feeling vulnerable, tired or scared. And given that your body is the one doing all the work on the Big Day, it’s better for you and baby is there aren’t fears affecting it and preventing it from doing the job it is so beautifully designed to do.

• If you would like to read more about this topic, it is explored in more depth in Alexia’s book, Fearless Birthing: Clear Your Fears for a Positive Birth

Preparing For a Positive Birth

We all want a positive birth don’t we?

• Well listening to Sophie impart her wisdom and advice is a great place to start. On this podcast episode I chat with best-selling childbirth author Sophie Fletcher about how you can best prepare for a positive birth. Sophie, a clinical Hypnotherapist, is also the founder of Mindful Mamma, an organisation that, among other things, runs classes for parents to be to prepare for a calm, confident and positive birth.

• Sophie’s book Mindful Hypnobirthing, is a really great read to help you get your head in a good place prior to birth, and it comes with free downloads! I was reading her book during my second pregnancy last year and I would definitely urge you to get yourself a copy. I spoke to Sophie for this interview during my own pregnancy last year – I was 7 months pregnant during our chat – as I originally approached her to come on to my Head Trash Show podcast.

• This was before I decided to write my own book and start this podcast. But once I had decided to launch the Fear Free Childbirth podcast, I decided to save our chat for this instead. And I’m glad I did as it’s perfect!  Sophie is so knowledgable about so many aspects of childbirth and birth preparation that if preparing and looking forward to positive birth is high on your list, then listening to what Sophie has to say is a great place to start.

• Here are some words from Sophie about the importance of preparing for birth. “The day I can stop teaching my classes is the day that I will be popping open a bottle of champagne. Why?  Because that means women are not afraid anymore, it means that women everywhere look forward to, and are excited about giving birth.  As we should. When I trained to be a hypnotherapist I was told that anxiety is fear of something that may never happen, whilst fear is a spontaneous response to something immediately in your environment.

• In pregnancy there is so much wasted energy being anxious about things that may never happen. Imagine if all that time worrying were instead time connected with your body and the growing baby inside you. Imagine if it weren’t anxiety but awe that flowed through your system during pregnancy and birth.

•   Imagine really knowing how incredible your body is and the magic it performs during birth to bring your baby to you. Imagining it is an important step in experiencing a positive pregnancy and birth. But the first step is making the decision that it’s what you want. Then you need to embark on your journey of discovery.

• Not all birth knowledge is given by medics, it is passed on by women, through women, through time. It is there but sometimes, we have to seek it out, to believe it and to know it deep down within our soul. Learn, read, ask questions of women that have this knowledge. 

• Be challenging not complacent. But knowledge is not just passed down in words, it is within and of us. When you make the decision to embrace birth and open up to that experience, you awaken that sleeping lioness within. You become strong, and you walk your path, emboldened and powerful. Imagine being a baby born to a mother who is awakened to her power. 

• You can do this, you just need to open up to the possibility and allow the magic of birth to unfold.” Such fabulous words. If you like that, then I’m sure you’ll love listening to her.

• During our chat Sophie talks about… some of the common fears around childbirth what happens physiologically to our body during labour and birth how our hormones help us during labour the fear-tension-pain cycle that explains how pain is triggered in childbirth how hypnobirthing can help you as part of your positive birth preparation the importance of preparation in wanting to have a positive birth experience Listen to the podcast Listen to the podcast here.

• To find out more about Sophie Fletcher Visit her Mindful Mamma website here. Resources mentioned during the podcast Birth without fear John Butler - the hypnotherapist who had surgery while being awake Michel Odent. Here is more about his work 

Lifecycle theory

Like in nature, our life consists of several stages.

 We’re born in spring, with the energy forming our body.

 In summertime, we get older and our body reaches the peak of its energy. 

In late summer and early fall, we reach a balance between our body and energy. In fall, we start to get older as our energy is fading away. 

Winter is synonymous with decline and death. 

 This is the “sunset” of our life when energy is leaving our body.

 When spring comes again, a new life emerges in a new body, and everything starts again.

 These cycle shows how energy affects our body over time. It’s an irreversible natural process. 

However, if we learn to activate the “spring” phase at any point in our life, our body will be transformed by youthful energy which won’t leave it in “winter.”