Happiness is simple: You become what you consume.

Happiness is simple: You become what you consume.

You are continually consuming information in varying forms. The food you eat, the thoughts you think, the people you hang out with, the television shows you watch, the books you read, it all enters into your body, brain and nervous system. What it all adds up to is your life experience. What you allow to enter your mind and body determines the reality that you experience. For years you may have unknowingly allowed “garbage” to enter this complex system, but now you should have a higher awareness of what you need to do to overcome your past and head towards a brighter future. It starts now. Start focusing intently on your brighter future and the person you are going to be after you’ve successfully instilled the habits of a happy and successful person.

The process of becoming a happier and more positive person is simple but involves many things. I don’t expect anyone to implement everything mentioned in this book all at once. My only goal in writing this is to make you aware of the possibilities for you and show you that a series of small changes can make a huge difference. What I have found is that when someone begins to improve one part of their life, their diet for example, they naturally begin to improve other areas of their life as well. What I’m suggesting is that you choose one or two things in this blog and begin with them immediately. Your life will begin to improve so much that you will actually find yourself wanting to come back to the other methods and try them. Personal development can be addicting, but it’s the most rewarding thing you could do for yourself.

You are here for a reason. This blog did not land in your hands by accident. The fact that you have taken the time to read it shows that you have a desire for greater things. Maintain that desire and continue to focus on what you want. Never settle, because you deserve to live your dreams. Everyone does. Remember though, it starts with your mindset. Your actions will bear no fruits if you do not first overcome your limiting beliefs and realize how great you truly are.

A Healthy Body = A Happy Mind

A Healthy Body = A Happy Mind

A few years ago, when I was suffering from a deep depression, I was about 40 pounds overweight and in the worst shape of my life. I was in college at the time, and I was surrounded by fast food restaurants. I actually had a Taco Bell in my dorms! Needless to say, I was extremely unhealthy at the time, and I paid the price. It wasn’t until I started eating healthier and exercising that it became clear to me my previous diet was causing a large portion of my emotional pain and suffering. I went raw vegan for 4 months and started going to the gym 3 times per week, and my levels of energy and happiness went through the roof! I was literally jumping for joy on a regular basis because of how great I felt. Ever since, I have maintained a high level of health and fitness, and it has made a world of difference for me. 

 

 

The human body is designed to live off nature. It is also designed to move. When it does very little of those two things, it fails to function properly and you pay the price. If the majority of the foods you eat are processed (anything in a can or a box) and you’re eating very few fresh fruits and vegetables,then your body and brain are not getting what they need to function at a high level. Processed foods also contain many toxic chemicals that throw your body out of balance even further. The average American diet is likely responsible for much of people’s depression and emotional issues. It certainly is not helping.

Negative emotions are often your body’s way of telling you that it is out of balance and needs more nutrients.

The body is intelligent and will always tell you what it needs through it’s feedback mechanisms. Prescription and over the counter medicines block this feedback mechanism in their attempt to treat the symptoms, but the underlying problem is still there. It is an effective way to alleviate the pain, but it does nothing to treat the actual problem. Eating natural foods is not only an effective way to treat illness and disease, but it also an extremely effective remedy for depression, anger, and other negative emotions. I am no doctor, and I am not attempting to make any medical claims, but I do know from personal experience that proper nutrition and exercise go a long way in regards to overcoming negativity and seeing the world in a more positive light. It’s important not to see your body and mind as separate, because they are in fact one. An unhealthy body creates and unhealthy mind, and vice versa. Ideally, you should work on developing both, because your efforts will complement each other. If you improve your diet, you will improve your mental health. If you improve the quality of your thoughts (think positively), then your brain will release chemicals into your bloodstream that help to heal and maintain proper functioning of the body. Surely, you’ve gotten that tingly sensation throughout your body when you feel really happy, perhaps when you have a good laugh with your friends. That sensation is due to the brain’s release of certain neurotransmitters, or “happy chemicals.” Similarly, when you feed your body healthy, whole fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds, it is able to produce the chemical compounds that keep your brain and body functioning at maximum efficiency. I won’t delve any further into this subject, because I think you get the point. A healthy body equals a healthy and happy mind. It’s much easier to more positive light. It’s important not to see your body and mind as separate, because they are in fact one.

An unhealthy body creates and unhealthy mind, and vice versa. Ideally, you should work on developing both, because your efforts will complement each other. If you improve your diet, you will improve your mental health. If you improve the quality of your thoughts (think positively), then your brain will release chemicals into your bloodstream that help to heal and maintain proper functioning of the body. Surely, you’ve gotten that tingly sensation throughout your body when you feel really happy, perhaps when you have a good laugh with your friends. That sensation is due to the brain’s release of certain neurotransmitters, or “happy chemicals.” Similarly, when you feed your body healthy, whole fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds, it is able to produce the chemical compounds that keep your brain and body functioning at maximum efficiency.

I won’t delve any further into this subject, because I think you get the point. A healthy body equals a healthy and happy mind. It’s much easier to think happy thoughts when your body feels good and when you look good too. If you have aches and pains, it’s far too easy to complain and get trapped in a negative mindset. Consider treating your body with more care. You will be happier and enjoy a longer life as well.

The Power of Being In the Moment

The Power of Being In the Moment

The most enjoyable moments are the ones where we are fully immersed in what we are doing. When we are intently focused on one single thing is when we experience peace of mind. In other words, no thought. Since the act of thinking is responsible for much unhappiness and suffering in the world, it would be worthwhile to transcend thought altogether. Without thought, there is only peace and pure bliss. 

Most people can’t imagine what it would be like to not think. Thinking is the human condition, but it can be a blessing or a curse. Thinking is actually not necessary in many cases. There lies an incredible intelligence in our bodies that has the ability to guide us through life successfully, more successfully, in fact, than if we were to think our way through life. Thinking clouds our instinct and intuition and can actually inhibit our progress. When we are completely free of thought and in the present moment, we can make decisions with ease and experience happiness in everything we do. Even the simplest of things can bring you immense joy when you experience them as they are, that is to say experience them without judging or labeling them in any way. You’ve experienced this state of no thought before. Think back to some of the best moments of your entire life. It’s very likely that those moments were spent in a state of no thought, and that’s exactly why those moments were so enjoyable. 

There are a variety of ways that you can get into the present moment and experience no thought, but the easiest of them all is to simply do the activity that brings you the most joy. Perhaps it’s playing a musical instrument, reading, hiking outdoors, or spending time with your children. Whatever it is that you thoroughly enjoy, you should do more of it. Immerse yourself in the activities that get you out of your head and into the present moment, because those activities serve a great purpose. 

They serve the purpose of allowing you to realize your true nature and showing you that joy and happiness is your natural state beneath all the layers of thought you have accumulated over the years. While these activities may seem like only temporary relief from your pain,
they actually allow you to evolve and heal your pain. When you find your bliss and immerse yourself in it, you are one step closer to realizing that happiness is always available to you. The more bliss you experience, the easier it is to find it again. Eventually, you will be able to feel happy at your own choosing, no matter the circumstances. 

Here are a few other ways you can get into the present moment and experience greater peace of mind:

Exercise -

The act of physical exercise naturally takes your attention away from your thoughts and into your body. When your attention is within your body, you are in the present moment. This is one reason people find sports so enjoyable. Since they are in the present moment, the activity brings them a profound sense of inner peace and calm.

Meditation -

Basic meditation involves sitting in silence and doing nothing but focusing your attention on your breathing. This is great practice for getting into the present moment. Being in the present moment always involves focusing on one thing at a time, so any activity that forces you concentrate on a single task is beneficial. I strongly encourage everyone I know to start a meditation practice, as it is one of the most effective long term strategies for attaining higher levels of awareness and inner peace.

Artistic Pursuits -

The creation of all forms of art are extremely enjoyable for the artists, once again because it brings them into the present moment. This state of mind is sometimes called the “flow state.” It is a state of mind where the perception of time is lost and deep concentration takes place. In other words, a place where you can lose your mind and come to your senses. The activities that bring us this sensation of peace are a gift to us and a gift to the world as well, because only in that special state can we create the best art, the kind that comes from our heart.

Do more of what you love to do, and you will experience more happiness and have more love to give to others. Many people who seem cold and withdrawn from the world are people who feel as if they have little to live for. If they only discovered their passion and lost themselves in artistic expression of that passion, they would have more to live for than they could now imagine. 

Doing what you love and what makes you happy is not selfish. It is one of the most generous things you could do for others. Only when your cup is full can you give anything away. Find your bliss so that others may be inspired to do the same.

The Foundation of Positive Change

Awareness: The Foundation of Positive Change

The foundation of positive change is awareness. If you want to make a major change to a particular area of your life, you will need to first be aware of what exactly is holding you back from the outcome you desire. Almost always, the block is a mental one. The nature of your thoughts is responsible for your success and happiness, or lack thereof. Once you become fully aware of the negative thoughts that inhabit your mind, you can begin to eliminate them and replace them with positive thoughts that uplift you and propel you toward a greater future. In this chapter, I will describe a few methods for increasing your awareness, and thus enhancing your ability to think positively the majority of the time.

In our busy society, we rarely ever stop to analyze our lives in detail. Distractions are everywhere, and they can greatly inhibit our self-improvement. It is of crucial importance that you create the habit of daily relaxation and introspection, so that you can better understand your own mental blocks and formulate a plan to improve your circumstances.

Consider taking 5 to 10 minutes each day to do the following exercise:

Designate a time each day, preferably right before you go to sleep, to sit alone quietly with your thoughts. Instead of attempting to distract yourself with something, simply sit and listen to your inner voice. What is it saying? How does it make you feel at the moment? Reflect upon your day. What made you happy? Did anything upset you? Ask yourself these types of questions and really analyze every aspect of your life. Don’t judge your thoughts as “good” or “bad,” but just let them come and go naturally. After you’ve done that for a few minutes, get a piece of paper or a journal of some sort and just start writing down everything that comes to mind. Do not censor or edit yourself. Write for about 5 minutes without stopping. Then, read what you’ve written. After doing this a few times, it will give you a good indication of what types of thoughts are dominating your mind. From there, you can begin to make some noticeable changes to your overall attitude. 

Every time you do this free-writing exercise, go back through and re-read it to yourself, then highlight or re-write
one positive thing that stands out. If nothing about what you’ve written is positive, look back at your day again and force yourself to find one good thing about it. End each of these free-writing sessions with one positive statement and a statement that represents an optimistic outlook for the following day. 

So, your ending sentences might sound something like this: 

• Today, I had a really nice conversation with a co-worker, and that made me happy. Tomorrow, I’m going to try to smile more and eat at least one healthy meal.

This exercise is very simplistic, but please do not overlook the importance of it, because it is truly life-changing if done consistently. The simple act of writing down your thoughts dramatically increases your self-awareness, which is the starting point and foundation for all positive change. Ending each writing session with positive statements slowly re-programs your mind to focus more on the positive and less on the negative. What you focus on expands. Positive thoughts attract more positive thoughts, so if you can initially use some willpower to think more uplifting thoughts, your positive thoughts will eventually begin to outweigh the negative, and momentum is on your side once you reach that critical tipping point. Remember, it’s only hard in the beginning. The better you get at positive thinking, the more natural it will become, and success and happiness will come naturally as well.

How to Have a Stress-Free Pregnancy

How to Have a Stress-Free Pregnancy?

Why have a stress free pregnancy?

• Pregnancy, while a beautiful and wonderful thing, can also be hugely stressful. It’s a time of massive change, both physically and emotionally.

• If it’s your first pregnancy, then your life is about to change forever. Not only will you trying to prepare mentally for something which is impossible to prepare for, but you will also be mourning the passing of your current life.. the end of an era.. the end of the time when it was just the two of you. None of this is insignificant.

• By the end, you’re more than ready to give birth. Even the easy pregnancies can make you feel like this. Looking back, I can safely say that first time around, I pretty much had a stress free pregnancy. I hardly noticed I was pregnant, other than the obvious bump that was growing … My life just carried on as normal.

• I hardly had any symptoms or challenges and yet, by the last month I was done with it. The night-time peeing, the inability to lie on your back in bed, not being able to reach your feet…

• I could go on! Compared to my first pregnancy, my second pregnancy was a total nightmare and I was done in by month 5! As well as having a load more pregnancy symptoms, those that I had were cranked up to max… it all felt pretty hardcore.

• The idea of a stress free pregnancy seemed very far away at that point. My pregnant state was totally stressing me out! Why have a stress free pregnancy? De-stressing in your pregnancy should really be up there on the list of important pregnancy to-do’s along with eating well, avoiding alcohol and cigarettes and staying fit.

• After all, we do all this “for baby” and yet de-stressing is as important as all of these and here’s why… Do it for baby! When we’re pregnant, we’re bombarded with lists of all the things that we should stop doing, eating and drinking.

• But nobody tells us that we should stop with the stressing too. Admittedly , is not such as easy one to fix, but given that we know there are links between maternal stress and the health and wellbeing of the baby, de-stressing should definitely be on that list.

• And, for those of you who are hopeless at doing anything worthwhile for yourselves, but don’t hesitate doing something for others, then this your chance to shine. 

• Not only will baby thank you for putting the effort into aiming for a stress free pregnancy, but you’ll love yourself for it too!  “if I can’t do this for me, I must at least try for my baby’s sake” The hormones! Your hormones are going to go crazy during your pregnancy and it’s possible that your mind will be unrecognisable.

• In my first pregnancy, my hormones were very well behaved, but in my second pregnancy they were vicious little beasts.

• The thing with hormones is that they amplify what you’re feeling, so if you’re feeling delicate and vulnerable then by the time your hormones

• have finished with you, you’ll be sobbing in a pile of tissues over even the tiniest thing.

• So to help you manage the hormonal craziness, it’s worth taking the time to de-stress and be calm, otherwise a stress-free pregnancy will be but a dream.

• Stresses change throughout your pregnancy One thing I noticed, was that my stresses had a life all of their own during my pregnancies.

• They would come and go, evolve, disappear. New ones would show up, some would increase, others would disappear as quickly as they arrived.

• My hormones clearly didn’t help me with my aim of a stress free pregnancy, but given that it’s a period enormous change, on the inside and the outside, this is not entirely surprising. So as you think about your stresses, bear in mind that you need to Consider where you are in your pregnancy Remain self aware and revisit them often so that you capture the new ones that have popped into your life It’s a time of huge change in your life, but we’re adaptable beings.

• And for some of us, once we get used to something, the stress that it might have caused us initially, starts to subside. But that often means that new stresses jump right in to replace them – it did for me anyhow!

• Your first trimester can so easily a be a rollercoaster of emotions. Discovering your pregnant, dealing with your hormones and trying not to think too much about the risk of miscarriage can make it a rocky ride.

• So in this section I’ve gathered some episodes that I help will help with the challenges of the first trimester as well as help to start broadening your knowledge about birth.

• Coping with a miscarriage If you’ve already suffered a miscarriage then being pregnant once more will bring this to the fore for you.

• Given the high rate of miscarriages, it may also be the way that your current pregnancy goes. Even though this is great episode and my guest is brilliant, I always hope that people don’t need to listen to it.

• But we can’t hide from miscarriages; they happen and talking about them is important. How to have a stress-free pregnancy We’ve all heard how being stressed affects your baby ، so in this episode I share how you can reduce your experience of stress during your pregnancy. Hypnobirthing Hypnobirthing is widely considered a great way to prepare for your birth.

• In this episode I speak to hypnobirthing practitioner, Dr Eva Detko about what it is and why it’s so popular and effective. Staying fit during pregnancy Staying fit is super important so in this episode I’m joined by pre and post natal fitness expert, Dr Joanne Helcke to talk about how you stay fit.

• We even talk about the dreaded pelvic floor exercises! How epigenetics can help with pregnancy symptoms Epigenetics is a new field of science that is shaking up our understanding of dis-ease in the body and our ideas and assumptions about genetics.

• What’s really interesting about all this is how we can apply these new understandings to our pregnancy symptoms to make them go away. Interview with Nicola Goodall, Doula and Birthkeeper In this interview I chat to doula, Nicola Goodall. It’s always great listening to a doula because they know so much about birth. Nicola’s philosophy really shines through and she has much wisdom to share.

FearFree Childbirth

• For the majority of women of childbearing age who have not given birth, the idea of a fear free childbirth is unheard of …isn’t childbirth pretty scary? It’s even scary to those that HAVE given birth, especially if things didn’t go too well.

• And yet this fear is misplaced, and stems from a cocktail of misinformation, drama-filled TV shows and movies, horror stories and fear of the unknown. Sadly, in some countries where the standard of healthcare is pretty shoddy, childbirth is still responsible for fatalities in women, however, for the woman who chooses to give birth in a developed country, the risks are very low.

• In the UK, the risks are falling and it now stands at 8 for every 100,000 births (source RCOG National Enquiry). Why a opt for a fear free childbirth? For both men and women, the birth of their children is one of life’s magical moments.

• It’s an experience that will stay with you both of you forever, so wouldn’t it be nice to approach such an experience with open hearts, rather than full of fear? That on its own is a pretty compelling reason. But, there’s more… and for the women, it’s even more compelling.

• Fear directly impacts the level of pain that you will experience during childbirth. The more fear and anxiety, the more pain. The more pain you experience, the more likely you will make choices that can contribute to a problematic birth, and possibly traumatic birth.

• Traumatic births are known to be contributing factor to post natal depression. All this is backed by research and evidence so it’s nothing new. So, if you take time to reduce your fears and anxieties BEFORE the birth, then you’re improving your chances of a positive and pain-free birth experience.

• At the very least you will have a fear free childbirth. The way I see it, there are 2 broad categories of fear that we come across when it comes to childbirth and labour;

1. Fear of the unknown Fear of the unknown, or as I prefer to refer to it; fear arising from being misinformed. If this is first time pregnancy for you, then it completely makes sense that you will experience this fear to some degree, maybe even by the bucket load.

• I know I did during the early part of my first pregnancy. But, a lot of this fear comes from not really being well-informed on matters of childbirth to be able to ascertain with confidence as to whether your fears are well-grounded. In fact, it’s likely that your fears are fed by a cocktail of seeing births on TV or in the movies, hearing your friends’ horror stories or seeing horrific birthing videos when you were at school.

• I’m sure they have ulterior motives when we are that age, so it’s understandable that they show us a nasty version. It certainly worked as a pretty good contraception for me. But how much do you REALLY know about child birth? Have you taken the time to research childbirth in any great detail to understand what’s really going on? It’s likely, that if you are fearful of it that you haven’t.

• Once we have a better understanding of the labour and childbirth process, a lot of this fear evaporates. If after getting your head around childbirth, you’re still fearful, then what you have left is the second type of fear;

2. Deep emotional fear This fear resides deep within your subconscious and it arises from previous experiences (including those you’ve consciously forgotten), your values and your beliefs.

• This kind of fear is not the type that goes away just by thinking positively or studying harder because the rational mind is not able to change things that lie ingrained in our subconscious. I say ingrained, because these things are.

• Your beliefs are rock solid. If you have the belief that childbirth is not natural, and the female body is obviously not designed to have a baby’s head, or indeed its body come out of it naturally then being presented with solid evidence to suggest otherwise, is not going to change your mind.

• Just as you may be have the belief that you are not good enough, or you always fail, even though you hear people tell you how amazing you are, and see evidence that you are perfectly capable of succeeding at things, these beliefs will dictate your thinking and your resulting behaviour.

• Fears at this level will trigger the stress response in the body, whether you like it or not. You might read into childbirth until you’ve devoured every book imaginable, but if when you think of [insert any aspect of childbirth here that you like] you still can’t help but feel aheavy sick feeling in the pit of your stomach then you have some more work to do.

• This feeling in your body is hardwired, at least for the time being. That doesn’t mean that it can’t be changed, but changing it requires a very different approach to simply being better informed.

• The thing is, fears that are affecting your body like this, will be having a magnified effect on you when you’re in childbirth, not helped if you’re also feeling vulnerable, tired or scared. And given that your body is the one doing all the work on the Big Day, it’s better for you and baby is there aren’t fears affecting it and preventing it from doing the job it is so beautifully designed to do.

• If you would like to read more about this topic, it is explored in more depth in Alexia’s book, Fearless Birthing: Clear Your Fears for a Positive Birth

Preparing For a Positive Birth

We all want a positive birth don’t we?

• Well listening to Sophie impart her wisdom and advice is a great place to start. On this podcast episode I chat with best-selling childbirth author Sophie Fletcher about how you can best prepare for a positive birth. Sophie, a clinical Hypnotherapist, is also the founder of Mindful Mamma, an organisation that, among other things, runs classes for parents to be to prepare for a calm, confident and positive birth.

• Sophie’s book Mindful Hypnobirthing, is a really great read to help you get your head in a good place prior to birth, and it comes with free downloads! I was reading her book during my second pregnancy last year and I would definitely urge you to get yourself a copy. I spoke to Sophie for this interview during my own pregnancy last year – I was 7 months pregnant during our chat – as I originally approached her to come on to my Head Trash Show podcast.

• This was before I decided to write my own book and start this podcast. But once I had decided to launch the Fear Free Childbirth podcast, I decided to save our chat for this instead. And I’m glad I did as it’s perfect!  Sophie is so knowledgable about so many aspects of childbirth and birth preparation that if preparing and looking forward to positive birth is high on your list, then listening to what Sophie has to say is a great place to start.

• Here are some words from Sophie about the importance of preparing for birth. “The day I can stop teaching my classes is the day that I will be popping open a bottle of champagne. Why?  Because that means women are not afraid anymore, it means that women everywhere look forward to, and are excited about giving birth.  As we should. When I trained to be a hypnotherapist I was told that anxiety is fear of something that may never happen, whilst fear is a spontaneous response to something immediately in your environment.

• In pregnancy there is so much wasted energy being anxious about things that may never happen. Imagine if all that time worrying were instead time connected with your body and the growing baby inside you. Imagine if it weren’t anxiety but awe that flowed through your system during pregnancy and birth.

•   Imagine really knowing how incredible your body is and the magic it performs during birth to bring your baby to you. Imagining it is an important step in experiencing a positive pregnancy and birth. But the first step is making the decision that it’s what you want. Then you need to embark on your journey of discovery.

• Not all birth knowledge is given by medics, it is passed on by women, through women, through time. It is there but sometimes, we have to seek it out, to believe it and to know it deep down within our soul. Learn, read, ask questions of women that have this knowledge. 

• Be challenging not complacent. But knowledge is not just passed down in words, it is within and of us. When you make the decision to embrace birth and open up to that experience, you awaken that sleeping lioness within. You become strong, and you walk your path, emboldened and powerful. Imagine being a baby born to a mother who is awakened to her power. 

• You can do this, you just need to open up to the possibility and allow the magic of birth to unfold.” Such fabulous words. If you like that, then I’m sure you’ll love listening to her.

• During our chat Sophie talks about… some of the common fears around childbirth what happens physiologically to our body during labour and birth how our hormones help us during labour the fear-tension-pain cycle that explains how pain is triggered in childbirth how hypnobirthing can help you as part of your positive birth preparation the importance of preparation in wanting to have a positive birth experience Listen to the podcast Listen to the podcast here.

• To find out more about Sophie Fletcher Visit her Mindful Mamma website here. Resources mentioned during the podcast Birth without fear John Butler - the hypnotherapist who had surgery while being awake Michel Odent. Here is more about his work 

Lifecycle theory

Like in nature, our life consists of several stages.

 We’re born in spring, with the energy forming our body.

 In summertime, we get older and our body reaches the peak of its energy. 

In late summer and early fall, we reach a balance between our body and energy. In fall, we start to get older as our energy is fading away. 

Winter is synonymous with decline and death. 

 This is the “sunset” of our life when energy is leaving our body.

 When spring comes again, a new life emerges in a new body, and everything starts again.

 These cycle shows how energy affects our body over time. It’s an irreversible natural process. 

However, if we learn to activate the “spring” phase at any point in our life, our body will be transformed by youthful energy which won’t leave it in “winter.”