Self-awareness, I-awareness Ask yourself a question and give a short answer to it. Why have I read this article? Now take a deep breath, put down your smartphone or tablet and think it through thoroughly. You don’t need to rush. I wrote it to help you find your lost self-confidence. Now that the seed has been planted and the first shoot of your will is visible, let’s wring out more. Let’s continue this exercise by asking another question:
In which areas of my life do I lack confidence?
You might choose work, private life or your everyday life. It can be any area that you don’t feel confident in. Don’t be ashamed if you feel that way in allareas of your life. I used to feel that way also. Let’s have a look at the areas one by one. Work I consider myself a career-oriented person but nowadays I tend to realize that career is not necessarily important. I have often worked overtime and very hard to do the best for my company. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with that, but I realized that a workplace should be considered as the institution that provides your livelihood, but I think it’s essential to have time for your own life. Years go by, and suddenly you realize that though you have a great job, you have no life. Take it easy! Work hard, be creative, but at the same time don’t forget that not only is the company important to you but you are also important to the company. Things work because of you; you are part of the whole scheme. It doesn’t matter what you do for a living. You can be a CEO, a cleaner or a sewing machine expert, square your shoulders and be proud of it. Why do you lack confidence at work?
Are you not doing well in your position? So what?
Nobody was born with all the knowledge in the world. If you make sure that you focus well enough and develop yourself, you will measure up to the task. Believe in yourself, and everyone else will believe in you. Is it someone who makes you feel little? Say it’s your boss or colleague, don’t worry about it. Nowadays people tend to ignore other people’s feelings. Don’t let yourself be the victim of someone’s mood or lack of emotional intelligence. Don’t let them make their failure your suffering. Stay calm in every situation and remember that it’s not your work life that has the priority but your private life. You work so that you can have a better quality of life. If you don’t have a job now, that’s not a problem either. Get your resume and rewrite it so that you show your optimism and how positive you are. You will get a job because you deserve it and you have the power to prove it. Private Life I am going to divide this topic into two.
Firstly, I would address those who are single now. I have spent countless years mainly alone. I went through difficult times. I lived on dating websites, and I realized a couple of years ago, just how bland and boring my messages used to be. The lifeblood of today’s society is confidence. The one who is confident will succeed sooner or later, the one who isn’t will be walked all over or barely even noticed. A few years ago, the “new me” started rewriting my profile and my messages became full of life. The results were quite impressive. Per my previous statistics, 1 or 2 people responded out of 100, and they were usually rejections. The new statistics were closer to a 50% response rate, which is not bad at all, especially considering how many things could go wrong for example, she has already found someone else, deletes my message without even reading it or just simply makes the biggest mistake of her life. Believe in yourself! Do you know the saying that women fall in love with your eyes? Well, in fact, they don’t really fall in love with your eyes, but with a confidence they see in them. They don’t fall in love with men whoare afraid, insecure or feel awkward in the company of a woman. They fall in love with those who are strong, believe in themselves, and can communicate with ease and have a smile flickering on their face in any situation. Can you smile in any situation? Let’s go back to the mirror... Let’s play the just-do-it exercise.
It is an energetic, pulsing yet cool work of art. During the 1-minute exercise, repeat what Shia just said. Feel how your batteries are charging up. Square your shoulders and stand as if 300 people were standing and clapping around you. Everyone is celebrating you. My dear female reader, I suggest you do the same. The experience is priceless. No matter how many times you need this feeling, do this exercise again and feel the power of confidence in you. Yes, it’s You! Yes, you can have this feeling all the time. And yes, you will feel it all the time. Now, it’s your turn, you who live in a relationship. One of the biggest problems nowadays is that many people stick with their partner because they think they wouldn’t find anyone better and are afraid of change and being alone. There is one thing these people don’t take into consideration. After a while, they will be less and less tolerant, and that can easily lead to divorces and single parent families. If your partner is important to you, then don’t let your lack of confidence ruin your relationship. One of my good friends had a big issue recently. He had problems at work and he took them home and projected his own failure on his partner. Eventually it ruined their relationship.
They separated and were on a break from each other with all the pain and bitterness that usually comes with it. They loved each other but they couldn’t live together anymore. After long talks he admitted that he had negatively affected his loved one. He had gotten her off on the wrong track. She used to be an optimistic woman but his negativity had infected her. She adopted his personality unconsciously and now these two negative people were constantly fighting. After he and I talked and analyzed the situation thoroughly he realized that his self-confidence was the issue. If he could bring positive thinking into the relationship it would re-establish the male-female dynamic. If he acted like a man, his partner would feel like a woman, and together they could be happy. He could save their relationship. He got this thought straight in his head and they have been together happily ever since. They pay attention to each other, they encourage each other to be optimistic in case one of them wavers, and they live in love. Follow their example. Let’s play a game, shall we? Let’s call it the peaceful memory. Think of a moment when you both were very happy and felt the world wasyour oyster. You might think of a holiday, a dinner or a long chat till late night. Close your eyes and try to relive that moment. See the things you saw. Smell the things you smelled. And hear what you heard then. Feel how you are charging. Feel the love, feel it pulsing in you. Do it for at least a minute. Now grab your left earlobe with your left hand and connect this memory with this movement. Remember everything and leave your hand on your left earlobe for an extra minute and connect the memory to this activity in the meanwhile. The next time you have an argument with your partner about something trivial grab your left earlobe with your left hand and find that idyllic picture that you have connected to that movement. If they don’t understand what you are doing just ask them to give you a little time and then you can continue the argument. Trust me, you will be thankful.
Everyday Life I used to lower my eyes whenever I was walking in the street, travelling on public transport or just buying some rolls at the closest convenient store. On one hand, I wanted to stay invisible, on the other hand I wasn’t open to the world. I was busy with my own silly problems and I just blocked out the world around me. It was because I didn’t find my way and I wasn’t happy in my everyday life. I was just waiting for the days to go on and I was just going with the flow. Then I have developed a game to entertain myself. I just call it face-parade. The point is that whenever I go somewhere I count how many people I can see on my way who are markedly in a good mood. I don’t want to spoil it for you but you will be surprised when you try this game. Some of us might just suffer from morning or evening fatigue but in most cases feeling blue, insecure and low-spirited are written on people’s faces.
That’s one of the reasons why I decided to write this book. An average person spends about 25,000 days on the planet called Earth. Let all your days be special and eventful. Love Yourself and appreciate that you can be one of the many who can live through this miracle called Life!
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